We are Uncs

Yeah, I'm sort of a legend in my own mind

But somehow I’ve lost the plot, yeah

Once I was spry, a hero in my prime

Now I’m chugging beer and watching reruns of my time

Mid-30s hit, and the mirror’s got jokes

Old trophies on the shelf, and a few pounds of smoke

Remember the days when I’d run all night?

Now I chase the ice cream cart in broad daylight

My six-pack turned to a six-pack of burgers

Still talkin' 'bout the glory, but man, I’m a full-figured

I’m just a midlife un-hero, fat and still bearing scars

Laughing at my glory days and these new dad bods that are

Living on past victories, in my comfy recline

Chasing youth’s ghost while my waistline resigns

I’m becoming an 'unc', Mr. Unbelievable, oh yeah

Swore I’d hit the gym, but my couch is the throne

Four decades of wisdom, and a remote I own

Engine’s squeaking louder than my old hot rod

Daydreams of fast cars, now it’s nap time with the pod

Coveralls of nostalgia, I wear with pride

Too tired for adventures, but I’ve still got my stride

Hiking? Nope. But I’ll hike to the fridge

In my mid-forties, I’m still on the treadmill

I’m just a midlife un-hero, fat and still bearing scars

Laughing at my glory days and these new dad bods that are

Living on past victories, in my comfy recline

Chasing youth’s ghost while my waistline resigns

I’m becoming an 'unc', Mr. Unbelievable, oh yeah

Spent years chasing fame and youthful goals

Now I chase the snack aisle, with a belly full of hopes and Tostitos

Thought I’d escape my fate, but here I am

Turning midlife crisis into dad jokes, yes I am

So here’s to aging like a fine mixed drink

Silly, loud, and full of the sweetest blink

From hero to hapless, I wear my crown

Un-legend of the decade, I’m still around