

Prompt / Lyrics
[Verse 1] Showed up late Two hours past nine Spilled hot coffee On the boss’s new tie I said “I’m lazy I’m not even gonna try” He said “That’s honesty We need that kind of guy” (oh no) [Chorus] I can’t get fired I’m too bad to let go Every mess I make Just helps the numbers grow My wife says “Baby That job is good for you” Good for me But not for the poor team you put through [Verse 2] Unplugged the server To charge my phone Lost three weeks of data Whole department groaned HR called me in I thought “This is the day” They promoted me to “Head of Doing Things My Way” [Chorus] I can’t get fired I’m too bad to let go Every time I slack Office productivity grows My wife says “Honey That paycheck’s coming through” Good for us But what about the folks stuck working with you? [Bridge] At home I plead “Let me quit I’m a curse” She kisses me and says “Oh It could be worse” “You’re eating stress so your coworkers thrive You’re like a vaccine keeping that office alive” (hey!) [Chorus] I can’t get fired I’m too bad to let go When I call in “sick” They throw a welcome-back show My wife says “Baby This chaos makes you bloom” Good for me But my poor cowork’s hiding in the break room [Outro] I file reports In cartoon fonts They hang them framed Call it “vision we want” I beg “Please fire me” They shout “We’re inspired!” Guess I’m working here Till the building retires (oh yeah)
Tags
Bouncy 70s disco groove with male falsetto vocals, bright string stabs and jangly rhythm guitar over a steady four-on-the-floor beat. Verses stay tight and talky, bassline playful and busy; chorus explodes with stacked harmonies, handclaps, and glittery synth hits. Brief breakdown before final chorus for crowd call-and-response, then a quick, cheeky tag ending., comedy, disco
3:01
No
2/23/2026