The Mermaid

(Verse 1)
I slipped on a herring and fell from the rail,
Into the foam and the splash of a whale!
But down in the green where the water is deep,
A mermaid was waking from century sleep.
She looked at my face and she looked at my gear,
And whispered a promise I wanted to hear!
(Chorus)
So heave away, boys, let the anchor go hang!
I’m off for a romp with the fin-tailed gang!
She promised me pleasures and soft sandy beds,
While you lot are sleeping on lice-ridden sheds!
(Verse 2)
Her scales were all shiny, her treasures were bare,
She’d nothing but seaweed entwined in her hair!
She beckoned me down to the coral and grit,
To show me a time that was better than... bit!
I reached for her waist and I reached for her hand,
To do what a sailor can’t do on the land!
(Chorus)
So heave away, boys, let the anchor go hang!
I’m off for a romp with the fin-tailed gang!
She promised me pleasures and soft sandy beds,
While you lot are sleeping on lice-ridden sheds!
(Verse 3)
But then came a splashing, a rope and a hook,
And the ugly mugged face of the ship’s dirty Cook!
They grabbed by my collar, they hauled on my belt,
Just as the warmth of her bubbles was felt!
I kicked at the Boatswain, I bit at the mate,
To get back to the lady before it’s too late!
(Chorus)
So heave away, boys, let the anchor go hang!
I’m off for a romp with the fin-tailed gang!
She promised me pleasures and soft sandy beds,
While you lot are sleeping on lice-ridden sheds!
(Verse 4)
"Let go of me, bastards! Let go of the line!
The girl with the flipper was gonna be mine!"
They dragged me on deck and they tossed me in chains,
While Barnaby laughed at my salt-watered brains!
Now I’m back on the hardtack and back on the grog,
While she’s down there dating a lucky old dog!
(Outro)
Throw me back!
I don’t want the shore!
I’m a man of the water for evermore!

Gravelly lead, beer-clinking percussion, boisterous male choir, raw vocal texture, seafaring humor