Verse 1
They don’t tell you the world keeps asking you
To heal a body that still remembers life
Your hands still ache to carry something
Your arms still reach in the middle of the night
They don’t tell you your body doesn’t know
That heaven came instead of home
It still prepares, it still gives
Like she’s supposed to be here to live
Verse 2
They don’t tell you the pain of milk coming in
With no mouth to feed, no cry to answer
Every drop feels like betrayal
Of a love that had no chance
I press my chest and I break apart
Because my body did its part
And I would give anything—anything
For it to have been hers
Pre-Chorus
This isn’t just grief
It’s motherhood with nowhere to go
Chorus
They said I would’ve been a great mother
But I didn’t want would’ve been
I wanted sleepless nights and lullabies
And loving her till the end
I didn’t want sympathy or lines to say
I wanted my baby here
I didn’t almost become a mother
I am one—and she is my daughter
Verse 3
They don’t tell you your husband becomes
The one who keeps you breathing
Holding you while your body mourns
Something deeper than believing
Jordan sits with me through the nights
When I wake up screaming out her name
He holds my heart when it’s breaking open
So I don’t face it alone in the pain
Verse 4
They don’t tell you about 3 a.m.
When the grief comes without warning
When I clutch her little blanket
Like it could bring back the morning
I cry so hard my throat burns out
Begging God just one more chance
To feel her weight, to feel her warmth
To live the life we never had
Pre-Chorus
They don’t tell you love doesn’t stop
Just because the world thinks it should
Chorus
They said I would’ve been a good mother
But I wanted to be one
I wanted scraped knees, bedtime prayers
And birthdays in the sun
Don’t tell me she was spared the pain
When I am living hers every day
I didn’t lose a possibility
I lost my child—my Evalina
Bridge
My body grieved her
My heart still does
Motherhood didn’t end
It just learned to hurt without touch
Every tear proves she was real
Every ache proves she belonged
Love this deep doesn’t disappear
It just carries on
Final Chorus (quiet, breaking)
So don’t tell me what I would’ve been
Or try to make this right
Just sit with me in what I lost
And say her name tonight
I was her mother from the start
From the first beat to the last breath
And I will love her for the rest of my life
And beyond… even death
Outro
They don’t tell you how to survive this
Because no one should have to know
But I am still her mama
And I will always be her home
trixses
