Giddy-Up, Karen

She’s peekin’ through the blinds like a dollar-store spy

Talkin’ ’bout my clothes and the truck I drive

Claimin’ our yard’s a national disgrace

But she’s the one with raccoons livin’ in her fireplace

She’s got her nose where the sun don’t shine

Wanna know what we do when we drink moonshine

If drama was a rodeo, she’d ride front row

Tellin’ all the neighbors stuff she don’t even know

Giddy-up, Karen — grab your pearls and ride

Take that attitude and your prune juice pride

You ain’t the law, and this ain’t your land

So put down that phone and unclench your hand

We don’t need your sass, we’ve got our own plan

Giddy-up, Karen — and ride out while you can

She’s callin’ the cops ‘cause we grilled past ten

Sayin’ Tommy’s tools are a safety sin

Claims Marissa’s garden’s “witchcraft growin’”

But her back porch smells like pickles and loathing

Said our bonfire “violates a code”

But we were just roastin’ marshmallows in a row

She’s on NextDoor startin’ a thread

While her husband’s outside wishin’ he was dead

Giddy-up, Karen — this ain’t your town

Stop actin’ like you wear a cardboard crown

The HOA don’t care ’bout your tears

We been drinkin’ Buds and livin’ here for years

You ain’t the boss, so let go of that plan

Giddy-up, Karen — and ride out while you can

Oh, we got roosters crowin’, boots on the porch

And your fake concern ain’t lightin’ no torch

We’re too redneck for your ballet drama

And too wild to care ‘bout your online karma

“Karen, bless your heart — but not your WiFi signal.”

“She tried to report my scarecrow as a security threat!”

“She said my sunflowers were ‘too aggressive’—WHAT?!”

Giddy-up, Karen — ride that broom back home

Your front lawn gnome’s got PTSD from your tone

We’ll keep blastin’ our outlaw jams

With Daisy Dukes, cheap booze, and Uncle Sam

You’re the queen of not mindin’ your own damn land

Giddy-up, Karen — and ride out while you can

GIDDY-UP, KAREN!!! (horse neigh & slide guitar outro)