I used to laugh when I hit the ground
physics loved me, I never stayed down
Every wall said “try again”
Every fall felt like a friend
Neon trails, momentum jokes
I bent the rules and slipped through folks
No fear math, no sense of cost
If I bounced back, nothing was lost
They called me Speedball — say it fast
Bright dumb colors, built to last
Comic relief in a cape and grin
I hit the wall and came back in
Then Stamford happened and the air went still
Panels went white, the world got real
I felt the heat before the sound
Then there was nothing left to bounce
I tried to move — the ground didn’t care
Bodies don’t ricochet from prayer
Six hundred names I didn’t know
Now live in every place I go
I stopped bouncing.
I stopped smiling.
**I don’t bounce when I hit the ground**
*(no sound)* **I just stay there now**
They locked me up and let me rot
Said “serve the time” like time forgot
I wore the blame, I wore the stare
Every mirror asked “why were you there?”
Registration forms, sides to pick
I picked the pain — it felt more honest
If I hurt enough maybe the math works out
Maybe screams get quieter if I scream loud
I sharpened guilt into something clean
Turned every nerve into a receipt
If suffering’s proof then I’ll keep score
I’ll pay in blood, then bleed some more
They stopped calling me Speedball
That name felt like a lie I told
Bright things don’t stay bright long
Not when they’re used to light the bomb
**I don’t bounce when I hit the ground**
*(hold still)* **I put the spikes in now**
They named me Penance, said it fits
A walking sentence made of guilt
Every step hurts, good — it should
Pain’s the only thing that feels true
I’m not fast, I’m not free
I’m just gravity remembering me
Every movement’s a measured sin
Every breath digs deeper in
But somewhere under all that steel
There’s motion I refuse to kill
I didn’t die in Stamford’s fire
I just burned off who I was
I won’t laugh through the fall again
I won’t pretend I didn’t see them
I’ll carry weight, I’ll choose my landings
I’ll stay present when it’s demanding
**I don’t bounce when I hit the ground**
*(breathe out)* **but I don’t run from it now**
I was Speedball — noise and light
I am Penance — I stayed the night
Not redeemed, not forgiven yet
Just still here, still trying, still kinetic
extra_unbearable
