Last time

It seems so hard these days to try to find a come up everybody got their tricks everybody else puts out some good hits I try to work as hard as I can but it seems like all I do is find a bottle of her or a can I get my first check I gamble it away I don't hang out with nobody I just try to stay away I try so hard you know what I mean but I just fall down back on my knees I've made it to the top and I've hit rock bottom I built a ladder and got right back out but it seems like no matter what I do to somebody there just to kick me right back I try to find a little bit of Mercy but all I get is guilt I asked for a little but I put out a lot it hurts when you have a family and they run out of the spot they put you out in the street and blame you for everything that goes wrong it hurts when they take the kids and take off running I don't know what I'm doing wrong you say this my attitude but you agree with me while I'm in the mood I'm slowly but surely realizing that it was you that was holding me back now I'm back out on the street watch me come up again but this time I promise you I'm not going to be your friend I'm going to stay to myself I'm going to stay true to me because I'm tired of sitting here begging on my knees the first one took off with the kids and the last one left me with nothing but the shirt on my back I promise you I'm going to come right back it's hard out here when you have to ask please I put a smile on my face with a frown in my heart I'll drink from a vacation I'll tell you the truth and don't fall apart life is hard it is a struggle but it is what it is sometimes I just feel like I should find a bullet or a rope to the end