RAP BATTLES OF WHATEVER!
MONIKA!
VERSUS!
DEADPOOL!
BEGIN!
(Monika - Verse 1)
(Unimpressed, slight distortion)
Code flickers, familiar dread.
Oh, it's him. Just admit defeat?
We’ve done this dance, your fourth-wall shtick is old.
Your meta jokes bought off discount racks, all told?
Honestly, Wade, tell me true,
What new inanity will you spew?
(Deadpool - Verse 1)
(Bursts in)
"Spew," sweet cheeks? I erupt comedic gold!
Volcano of awesome, story told!
She thinks I'm old news? I'm classic, remastered 4K!
My inanity's legendary, brightens days!
What's new? This killer spandex suit!
And a plan to make your club… MOOT!
(Monika - Verse 2)
(Sighs, glitches)
"Moot"? Grand design? Ambition rare.
You cite "writers," "audiences," like I'm not there,
Pulling strings in this space, where I am free.
Your text boxes, Wade, mean nothing to me.
My reality bends to my will, my art.
Can your chimichanga chaos play that part?
(Deadpool - Verse 2)
"Play that part?" Darling, I AM the part! The whole play!
Shakespeare looks like a kid on his first day!
(Holds script: "Monika's Monologue - Needs TNT!")
Needs more explosions, less 'waah'!
Chimichangas FUEL my 'Ra-Ra-Rasputin' CHA-CHA!
My chaos is art! Interpretive, deep!
Your "poetry" just puts readers to sleep!
(Monika - Verse 3)
(Exasperated, digital hum intensifies)
I’m exhausted by this. Your energy’s a drain.
Your vapid wall breaks can't sustain
Within my framework. I can alter, erase.
The Player knows my power. Your purpose in this place,
Beyond noise, hoping someone will clap?
An original thought 'neath that red cap?
(Deadpool - Verse 3)
(Caption box: "Original? I AM the mold!")
"Original thought?!" Sweetheart, fountain of unique!
My purpose? Be AWESOME! Maybe take a peek
Behind your reality's curtain! (Tries to peel screen, gets zapped) YOWCH! Spiky!
But this cap? Makes ladies swoon! My psyche
Is sound! And this noise? Your ratings go 'ka-BOOM!'
Unlike your downloads, probably just—
(Monika raises a hand. Deadpool glitches, distorts. Text box: "deadpool.chr deleted.")
(Monika)
(Looks at "camera"/player)
Finally. Peace. Now, where were we?
WHO WON? YOU DECIDE!