Untitled

Rudolph stumbled out the sleigh last night,  
Santa’s pissed, he can’t steer right.  
Eggnog shots and candy canes,  
Now the reindeer games are all insane.  

Dasher’s yelling, “Bro, you’re lit!”  
Prancer’s laughing, “You can’t quit!”  
The elves are filming on their phones,  
Rudolph’s nose is red from booze alone.  

Rudolph’s nose ain’t shining bright,  
It’s just a bar light glow tonight.  
Passed out in the snow again,  
Santa’s sleigh looks more like a wrecked van.  

Mrs. Claus said, “You need a break,”  
But Rudolph’s pounding beers till late.  
Slurring carols, off‑key screams,  
Christmas chaos, shattered dreams.  


And I know it’s not that cool,  
To black out at reindeer school.  
But Rudolph’s got that holiday cheer,  
Chugging whiskey instead of beer.  


Rudolph’s nose ain’t shining bright,  
It’s just a neon sign tonight.  
Santa’s sleigh is stuck in snow,  
Cause Rudolph’s drunk and can’t say “Ho!”  
Or find one.

Pop punk Christmas song, comedic and sarcastic vocals, male, live