The Way I Am

I grew up in a house full of empty rooms

Voices faded, no one to turn to

No “we”, no us, just me alone

Learning how to stand on my own

No holidays, no memories made

Just passing days that slowly fade

Everyone living their separate lives

While I was just trying to survive

Then everything broke when they walked away

And I felt myself start to change

So if I seem cold, like I don’t care

It’s just the armor that I wear

I’ve been hurt more than I can say

So I push the world away

If I seem lost or hard to reach

There’s a side of me you don’t see

I’m not heartless, I just learned to be

The way I am to protect me

Old friends turned and left me behind

Pointing fingers, drawing lines

Blamed for things I didn’t do

Still I carried all that through

Every scar just built these walls

Every silence, every fall

Taught my heart to shut things out

That’s what this pain’s about

Life kept hitting, I couldn’t break

So I became what I had to make

So if I seem cold, like I don’t care

It’s just the armor that I wear

I’ve been hurt more than I can say

So I push the world away

If I seem lost or hard to reach

There’s a side of me you don’t see

I’m not heartless, I just learned to be

The way I am to protect me

But I swear there’s more beneath this skin

A war outside, a fight within

I never learned how love should feel

So I don’t know what’s even real

But if you stay, if you don’t run

You might see who I’ve become

Not just the walls, not just the pain

But someone trying to change

So if I seem cold, I hope you see

It’s not who I want to be

It’s just the past still holding on

Even when I’m trying to move on

If you can look beyond my scars

Maybe you’ll see my heart

I’m not heartless, I just had to be

The way I am… to protect me