Happiness

I wake up in a room with no window, no door,

My mind's a prison, thoughts are screaming, wanting more.

The silence is loud, it pulls me down inside,

And my heart keeps on beating, not from will – just to survive.

I reach for a savior, wrapped in colors, glowing white,

A pill against the darkness – but it never makes it right.

It gives me brief freedom, like a smile on a lease,

But when the high is gone, I’m left with no peace.

Happy pills, make me numb, let me fly,

Just for a moment, ‘til I break and cry.

So high above, but the ground calls my name,

Each time I fall, I lose more in this game.

Happy pills – my secret deal,

Give me peace, but steal what’s real.

I feel alive for seconds, then I’m done,

Back in the wounds I thought I’d outrun.

They call it "help," but it feels like escape,

I’m not chasing joy, just silence in this shape.

Every sip is a vow that I’ll crash again tonight,

Still I reach for it – it’s my fading light.

I wanna breathe, wanna live, wanna be,

But what’s the truth if it burns inside of me?

This pill makes me quiet, not cured –

But I take it ‘cause the silence is worse when it’s heard.

Happy pills, make me numb, let me fly,

Just for a moment, ‘til I break and cry.

So high above, but the ground calls my name,

Each time I fall, I lose more in this game.

Happy pills – my secret deal,

Give me peace, but steal what’s real.

I feel alive for seconds, then I’m done,

Back in the wounds I thought I’d outrun.

I see my reflection but it’s not really me,

Just a ghost of the soul I used to be.

They ask how I’m doin’ – I say “I’m fine,”

But my eyes tell a story words can't define.

I write poems on pill packs, inked in red,

Each line a cry from a part that feels dead.

But the buzz wears off and I drop again,

Lower than before – it’s a never-ending trend.

Happy pills, my sweet disguise,

They save me quick, but feed me lies.

So high I go, but it ain’t true,

The crash is cruel – it cuts right through.

Happy pills – like sugar-laced pain,

Tastes like peace but drives me insane.

I feel alive, but my soul stays dumb,

And every new day just feels so numb.

I wear scars on my soul, hidden from the light,

But I feel them every hour, every fake "I'm alright."

“You gotta stay strong,” they say, “it’ll pass with time,”

But how does time heal when the clock won’t chime?

These happy pills are lies in a chemical shell,

They give me peace that the daylight always kills.

But in the end, it’s still me in the dark,

Asking: Is this living… or just a dying spark?