I'm less of a shadow

I can't stand always f****** losing when I try so hard to stay afloat no matter how f****** hard I want to try to make moves to get ahead or stay on top that always end up on the sinking boat it makes life impossible to stay positive the endless falling short causes me not to cope and they wonder why I try to die and stay numb by getting high with all this dope somebody help me from drowning suffocating I can't f****** breathe I'm beginning to choke gasping for air grabbing my throat my life's fading quickly and I'm losing hope someone please help me loosen this f****** road memories of who I used to be fading and fading away so quickly I don't recognize the shadow I see in the mirror I'm a stranger to myself I don't know who I am where I belong it's become a constant reality I began to fear my daughter looks at me trying to remember who I am baby it's Daddy I'm right here I don't know who to ask for help anymore I dropped my head filled with guilt for my eye drops a single tear death is creeping over my shadow I feel it's presence drawing closer and closer I know that feeling I can smell it death is near I used to be a Savage nothing in this world was I ever afraid of until this year losing you is my biggest fear and now it's become more than a nightmare I'm bleeding inside my soul is starting to vanish into thin Air I wish I was strong enough to stop it it's not that I don't care I need some help please God send me an Angel from up there I will not survive much longer I can feel my heart start to tear f***