Wasn’t sure if I could do it again. We would talk all night like we were kids again. The time came when we decided to meet. she suggested a park so the kids could play. I got there first so nervous but I played it off ok. The moment I saw her beautiful red hair I was speechless . Deep down I knew she was made for me but wouldn’t admit it verbally. The moment her head hit my shoulder I knew we were made to be together forever. Not long after we had met she found that note I hid on a Pepsi. We had it hard but we found moments to make ours. A little time here and there made us realize our love was real. A full house of kids with two broken people trying to fix each other. We had been through thick and thin and talked about forever. I knew we were not perfect but we were perfect for each other. After 5 years it all came crashing down. With opposite shifts I thought we would work through it like we always had done but I couldn’t keep her she was already gone. She never was mine to keep with all the trust issues and doubt I could never could get her that ring. I worked to much didn’t take the time to show her how I felt. I thought jumping through her hoops with all I had would be enough. But when she left it was like I never even mattered. She was with someone just days after. Broke me like I’ve never been broke and took me for a joke. After it all I didn’t know what was real. Broken down I didn’t care about much I pulled it together and showed her that I craved her trust. I wanted it to be us I gave it all I had. But that’s never enough went you refuse to trust. I learn some things that I was I had known, not everyone is replaceable know I live a life alone. I wanted her to be mine for all of time but love is not always enough. When I gave her all I had trying to prove my love it turned out that it was never going to be enough. I could never do right. I was always wrong, I was the problem all along. I hang my head low cause I lost all I wanted cause of my lust for the unknown. It’s unfortunate when you lose what you had to fight for it back and see it was that. The girl I thought was made for me turned out she doesn’t want what we had. Now I sit even lost more then before, how did it change was it all just a game? I hope she finds everything but for me it was the last time I play the game.
I would never leave something good for a possibility I choose to fix and repair a love that was so rare.
jjt
