Double-time

People ask why I’m tired when I barely moved

Why I’m quiet in a loud room

Why my mind never rests

This is why

⸻

It’s 2:40, lights out, wide awake

Not stressed, not sad, just my brain won’t brake

Body feels calm but the thoughts won’t wait

Like they all lined up just to race

It’s not noise, it’s motion inside

Same idea looping, amplified

I don’t choose it, it just arrives

Like breathing fast when you’re trying to hide

I lay still but my head stays loud

Every small thought pulls me out

Not panic, not fear, just speed

Too much focus, not enough sleep

⸻

Lights off, mind on, never power down

Even time but I’m moving double-time

Trying to rest but I’m racing around

Fast brain living in a slow world now

Lights off, mind on, steady spin

Not broken, just wired in

If you’ve never lived it, it’s hard to define

This is life in double-time

⸻

People say “just focus,” like it’s a switch

But my focus works — it just doesn’t sit

It locks in hard or it fully slips

No middle ground, it’s hit or miss

I can spend eight hours lost in a thought

Or lose my keys the second I stop

It’s not a lack of care or respect

It’s my attention doing laps in my head

It’s hearing everything all at once

Every sound feels front-row, front

Trying to choose what deserves my brain

While everything screams my name

⸻

Lights off, mind on, never power down

Even time but I’m moving double-time

Trying to rest but I’m racing around

Fast brain living in a slow world now

Not lazy, not careless, not behind

Just processing life in double-time

⸻

It’s explaining yourself and still being wrong

Feeling misunderstood your whole life long

Trying twice as hard just to seem “normal”

While burning out from being functional

It’s wanting rest but hating the quiet

’Cause silence makes the thoughts riot

It’s creativity mixed with exhaustion

Ideas flowing with no stop motion

It’s not a flaw, it’s a different pace

High-speed mind in a low-speed space

If I move fast, it’s not to escape

It’s just how my brain stays in place

⸻

It’s forgetting what I’m saying mid-sentence

’Cause three new thoughts just entered

Watching faces while I’m trying to listen

Hoping they don’t see me driftin’

It’s caring deeply, maybe too much

Every failure hits like a gut-punch

Replaying moments I wish I’d done different

While the world already moved a distance

It’s being early or showing up late

No in-between, that’s how it plays

Time feels bent, elastic, strange

Ten minutes gone or an hour erased

I don’t need fixing, don’t need advice

Just a little room, a little time

If I move fast or I lose my place

Know I’m trying — just at a different pace

⸻

If you’ve never lived it, you won’t see a sign

No cast, no bruise, no warning light

Just know if I’m quiet or I fall behind

I’m still running — just in my mind

Lights off, mind on, still I try

Even time, double-time

I’m not broken, I’m built this way

Just asking for patience, not to be “fixed”

Lights off, mind on, steady grind

This is life in double-time

⸻

If this sounds chaotic, that’s the point

This is every day, not a choice

Same mind, same speed, same wire

Living life in double-time