[Verse 1 — suffocating, no escape]
I been tryna climb out, but the walls don’t grip,
Just ball bearings on the sides, and I keep
right slip.
Every inch that I gain gets erased in a breath,
Like the world’s tellin’ me,
“Boy, you ain’t makin’ progress.”
My fingers bleed from the fallin’,
my mind’s bruised from the fight,
I keep slippin’ in the darkness
like I’m scared of the light.
Every promise that I made feels like a broken bone,
And the closer I get up,
the more the pit pulls me home.
⸻
[Hook — drowning, defeated]
It’s like I’m climbin’ up a hole with ball bearings for walls,
Hands slidin’, heart breakin’, every time that I fall.
I know better, but the demons always answer my calls…
I’m relapsin’ in the dark, screamin’ prayers God won’t recall.
⸻
[Verse 2 — relapse moment, shame hits]
Had a moment where I swore I’d never fall again,
Then the craving crept behind me like a long-lost friend.
One whisper turned to tremblin’,
then the tremblin’ turned to need,
And I slipped back down the hole
just like the pit was beggin’, “Please.”
And the shame hit like a hammer,
couldn’t look at my own face,
I was crawlin’ on my knees
just tryin’ to find a place
Where the guilt ain’t burn my throat,
where the nightmares ain’t so loud—
But withdrawals shake your bones
till you collapse on the ground.
⸻
[Hook — darker, hopeless]
It’s like I’m climbin’ up a hole with ball bearings for walls,
No hold, no grip, no balance at all.
I keep fallin’ from the top, til I forget I can crawl…
Relapse got me feelin’ like I’m meant to dissolve.
⸻
[Bridge — full despair, rock bottom]
And I’m tired… tired of losin’ battles in my brain,
Tired of drownin’ in regret that tastes like rust and shame.
Tired of wakin’ up and hopin’ I don’t fall again,
Tired of the voice inside me sayin’, “This is who you’ve been.”
(beat drops out, hollow echo)
It’s like the pit was made for me, like the bottom is my home,
Like the climb is just a myth and the fall is carved in stone.
⸻
[Verse 3 — tiny light, tiniest fight]
But somewhere in the darkness
is a whisper I can’t kill,
A spark against the void sayin’,
“Try again… you will.”
It ain’t loud, it ain’t strong,
but it flickers in the cold,
And it keeps me from surrenderin’
to the weight I can’t control.
So tomorrow I’ll try climbin’
though the walls might never change,
Though the bearings cut my fingers
and the drop feels prearranged.
Even if I fall forever,
even if hope barely calls—
I’ll keep reachin’ for the top
that lives beyond these walls.
⸻
[Final Hook — despair + flicker]
It’s like I’m climbin’ up a hole with ball bearings for walls,
Hands bleedin’, heart heavin’, hearin’ destiny’s calls.
Yeah, I relapsed… yeah, I’m broken… yeah, the darkness enthralls—
But there’s a spark that says keep climbin’, even when the whole world falls.
