I Can Smell Her Shitter From Here

Verse 1
Boogie-woogie moon above,
Bugle in my ear,
Everything was sweet and fine
Till that smell came creeping near.
Coffee on the burner, boys,
Ham and beans and cheer,
Then I wrinkled up my little nose—
I can smell her shitter from here!

Chorus
I can smell her shitter from here,
Oh honey, loud and clear,
It floated through the mess hall door
And spoiled the atmosphere.
Shoo-be-doo, shoo-be-dah,
Ain’t no perfume volunteered,
The whole darn camp is singing now:
“We can smell her shitter from here!”

Verse 2
Sergeant tried to laugh it off,
Said, “Boys, ignore the breeze,”
Then he turned a funny shade of green
And buckled at the knees.
The drummer missed his little beat,
The trumpet disappeared,
Because the band can’t swing in tune
When her shitter’s drawing near!

Chorus
I can smell her shitter from here,
It’s got the joint in tears,
It knocked the shine off every boot
And wilted all the ears.
Shoo-be-doo, shoo-be-dah,
The truth is plain and weird,
No matter where you run tonight,
You’ll smell her shitter from here!

Verse 3
She must’ve dug that outhouse pit
A mile too high and wide,
Because the wind picked up that wicked funk
And carried it with pride.
It rolled across the motor pool,
It reached the old frontier,
And every jeep went swerving when
They smelled her shitter from here!

Chorus
I can smell her shitter from here,
Sweet mama, have no fear,
It’s only just a little breeze
That ends your whole career.
Shoo-be-doo, shoo-be-dah,
No soul is spared this year,
The rooster quit at half past six—
He smelled her shitter from here!

Bridge
Dip-de-dip, the moon went pale,
The stars fell out of line,
The colonel dropped his cigarette,
The cook dumped out the brine.
Nobody spoke above a whisper,
No one would come near,
Till one brave soul leaned out and cried:
“I can smell her shitter from here!”

Verse 4
Now the girls back home may powder up
And wear their ribbons bright,
But nothing ever hit this camp
Like what blew through that night.
Not gasoline, not cabbage stew,
Not old socks by the pier,
Could top the funk that shook us all—
We smelled her shitter from here!

Final Chorus
I can smell her shitter from here,
Oh honey, loud and clear,
It floated through the barrack walls
And froze the atmosphere.
Shoo-be-doo, shoo-be-dah,
Let every bunkroom hear,
From reveille to lights-out, boys,
We smell her shitter from here!

Tag ending
From the bunks to the bandstand, dear,
We can smell her shitter from here!

Swing. 1940s, war time, Andrew Sisters, female