[Verse 1]
Yeah
Left my hometown with a backpack, half a plan
Mama said "call me," I said "I will," then I ran
Skipped on rent, burned bridges on the way up
Now the view from the top feels made up
Scrollin' through the names I left on read
I was chasin' every high inside my head
"Busy, busy," that was always what I said
But the silence in the night hits different in this bed
[Pre-Chorus]
I been duckin' from the mirror like it owe me
[low vocal register]
Every flaw, every scar that it show me
If I could turn the clock, would I still be this selfish?
Or would I learn that the real F-word is—
[Chorus]
Forgive myself
I been holdin' on to hurt like it’s help
Hands around my own neck, tightenin' the belt
But I don't wanna die on this hill I built
Forgive myself
All the weight I put on everyone else
Every time I fell, I just doubled the guilt
Tonight I let go, I let go, I let go
Forgive myself
[Verse 2]
Text from my brother, "you changed," he ain't wrong
I was countin' plays, never stayed, then I’m gone
Treatin' every single heart like a staircase
Step, step, step, then I exit through the airspace
Therapist ask, "what would you say
To the kid that you were on his worst day?"
I'd tell him, "you don't have to earn your breath"
But I talk to myself with a different kind of breath
[Pre-Chorus]
Why I love every stranger more than me?
Give 'em grace like it's water, I stay thirsty
If I could turn the clock, would I still be this selfish?
Or would I learn that the real F-word is—
[Chorus]
[Bridge]
[whispered vocals]
I’m sorry to the ones I lost
I’m sorry for the years on pause
I’m sorry that I learned too late
But sorry never changed my fate
[full voice, building]
So I’m breakin' up with my old shame
Tellin' that voice, "you don’t run this game"
If I fall again, I fall, I stand
Put my heart back in my own two hands
[Chorus]