Verse 1
I wake up tired of just surviving
Of proving that I still exist
Like I’m worth the air I’m breathing
But still have to fight for it
I live in the long kind of middle
Where nothing ends, nothing begins
Time passes through me quietly
Like it never meant to stay in
I feel borrowed, thin, untrue
Like I’m wearing someone else’s skin
I don’t chase the future anymore
I just trace the floor I’m standing in
Pre-Chorus
I’m not waiting for a breakthrough
I’m not asking to be saved
I just watch the days go missing
Like they never learned my name
Chorus
I am not asleep
I am not awake
I’m stitched together
By my mistakes
I’m not dead
But I’m not alive
I learned how to stay
Not how to survive
And I am still here
Against my will
Verse 2
I am what’s left when hope evacuates
The fracture in the fact
Not whole enough to break
Death has direction
Life requires consent
My body stays
My soul delays
Every breath feels unmeant
My heart still knows the rhythm
But it’s playing for no crowd
The scream stays on the inside
Even when it’s loud
Feelings come with distance
Like they’re secondhand
A life I’m no longer attending
But still forced to understand
Pre-Chorus
If this is what it means to cope
Then coping feels like loss
I didn’t give up on the road
I’m just running out of “because”
Chorus
I am not asleep
I am not awake
I’m stitched together
By my mistakes
I’m not dead
But I’m not alive
I learned how to stay
Not how to survive
And I am still here
Against my will
[Bridge (bare, almost spoken]
Don’t tell me it gets better
Don’t tell me I’m strong
The weather wasn’t mine to choose
I’ve just been in it too long
I’m not asking for a new life
I just don’t want this one right here
I didn’t fail at leaving
I just never learned how to go
Final Chorus
I am not asleep
I am not awake
I’m stitched together
By my mistakes
I’m not dead
But I’m not alive
I learned how to stay
Not how to survive
And I am still here
Against my will
Outro
I learned how to stay
Not how to survive
And I am still here
Against my will
Tonenico
