[Instrumental intro - Guitar riffs, double kick]
[Verse 1]
It was an Old Firm derby, a bright Sunday,
Seltic fans were singing, full of green and grey.
Then a Rangers player, with a cheeky grin,
Pulled out a bottle—oh, LET THE TEARS BEGIIIIIIIIN!
[Pre-Chorus]
A little splash of water, just a harmless stream,
But the Parkhead faithful let out a poofy scream.
Was it malice? No, not quite—
Just trying to help, to turn the grey into white.
[Chorus - Harsh vocal, gutteral growls]
OH WHY, OH WHY, DO THE HOOPS FANS WAIL?!
IT'S ONLY WATER, NOT A MOLOTOV COCKTAIL!
HE JUST THOUGHT, THAT HE'D LEND A HAND,
SINCE HYGIENE FOR THEM IS HARD TO UNDERSTAND!
[Verse 2]
Their own club sent a letter, clear as day,
“WASH YOURSELVES,” it kindly did say.
But when the Jers tried to do their part,
The Seltic fans obviously took it to heart.
[Pre-Chorus]
A little splash of water, just a harmless stream,
But the Parkhead faithful let out a poofy scream.
Was it malice? No, not quite—
Just trying to help, to turn the grey into white.
[Chorus - Harsh vocal, gutteral growls]
OH WHY, OH WHY, DO THE HOOPS FANS WAIL?!
IT'S ONLY WATER, NOT A MOLOTOV COCKTAIL!
HE JUST THOUGHT, THAT HE'D LEND A HAND,
SINCE HYGIENE FOR THEM IS HARD TO UNDERSTAND!
[Guitar solo]
[Bridge]
Maybe next time, Cherny will bring some soap,
Give them a chance, perhaps give them some hope!
If they’re upset... well, what can we say?
AT LEAST THE SMELLY BASTARDS GOT A WASH TODAY!
[Outro - Sang in a sarcastic tone]
So dry your tears tims, don’t take it too hard,
It’s just some water, you don’t need a guard.
In the end, the lesson is true,
Cleanliness is really good for you!
[Instrumental with heavy guitar riffs and double kick until fade]