[Instrumental intro - Heroic, energetic, and a little goofy!]
[Verse 1]
From the deep blue storms of Neptune’s skies,
A hero bends, he twists, he flies!
With stretchy limbs and moves so slick,
Drastic Elastic Spastic’s quick!
[Pre-Chorus]
He zips, he zaps, he snaps, he spins,
No villain’s safe—he always wins!
But lurking in the cosmic fog,
Is his grossest foe, that rancid Bog…
[Chorus]
Drastic Elastic Spastic! (Whoa-oh!)
Faster than light, fantastic! (Whoa-oh!)
He’ll stretch, he’ll bounce, he’ll save the day,
And fling that Jobby far away!
[Verse 2]
From Uranus' depths of sludge and slime,
Rancid Boggy Jobby climbs…
A stinky fiend with a noxious glow,
Spreading filth where’er he goes!
[Pre-Chorus]
But Drastic’s here—no time to waste,
He’ll snap that villain into space!
With rubbery fists and lightning speed,
He’ll stop that stink, he will succeed!
[Chorus]
Drastic Elastic Spastic! (Whoa-oh!)
Bends, but never breaks—fantastic! (Whoa-oh!)
He’ll stretch, he’ll bounce, he’ll save the day,
And fling that Jobby far away!
[Bridge – Heroic Instrumental Break!]
[epic guitar riffs and cosmic synths]
[Outro – Triumphant Finale!]
Neptune cheers, the stars all shine,
Drastic saves the day in time!
So when the universe needs elastic might,
Drastic Elastic’s here to fight!
[Final shout!]
DRASTIC ELASTIC SPASTIC!—SNAP INTO ACTION!