**Verse 1**
Woke up late, laced up my skates
Girth Brooks in net, brain dead as it gets
Cross-checking ghosts, tripping on the blue line
How the hell’s this dude a AAA coach, he’s fine!
Finally learned the stride deke, yeah he’s scoring now
Still getting dusted, can’t hang with the big boys somehow
Platty’s in his head, he’s panicking again
Forcing passes through the slot like “where’s my zen?”
**Pre-Chorus**
JD’s on his ass, chirping in his ear
“Nice giveaway, big guy, buy a better gear!”
**Chorus**
We are the Stains! (Hey!) Blood on the ice!
Freddy Pura Vida, poking checks so nice!
Girth and JD creaming when he jumps on sticks
Elite 1 forever, best to ever do this shit!
Stains! Stains! Stains on ice!
We’re never gonna be alright!
(But we’re winning tonight!)
**Verse 2**
JD’s switching builds again, still hunting for the one
Rusty in the corners but the backhand’s got that stun
Loves to chirp ol’ Girth till the big man wants to die
Hates when Freddy steals faceoffs, breakaway every time
But Freddy’s stretching tape-to-tape, saucer passes fly
Mohawk down the boards like a goddamn highlight guy
Stride deke, top shelf, elite as it gets
Girth and JD in their pants every time he steps
**Chorus**
We are the Stains! (Hey!) Blood on the ice!
Freddy Pura Vida, poking checks so nice!
Girth and JD creaming when he jumps on sticks
Elite 1 forever, best to ever do this shit!
Stains! Stains! Stains on ice!
We’re never gonna be alright!
**Bridge** (half-time, slower, spoken-sung like Mark Hoppus on a mellow part)
Slow it down… lights go dim…
This one’s for Bazooka Nipples, the legend, the king
You left us too soon, but your fire’s still here
We hoisted that Elite Cup, first time in years
Every goal, every poke, every stupid deke
We did it for you, man… rest in peace
**Final Chorus** (full energy again, gang vocals huge)
We are the Stains! For Bazooka tonight!
Elite Cup in the cabinet, shining so bright!
Girth still sucks defense, JD can’t finish right
But Freddy’s the GOAT and we’re owning this ice!
Stains! Stains! Stains on ice!
We finally got it… alright!
*(Last line yelled)*
BAZOOKA NIPPLESSSSSSS!
