Well, I got a sister named Vanessa, she's a firecracker from the start,
Lives down in Jersey, got that shore breeze runnin' through her heart.
I sneak in her room when she's out, move her stuff from here to there,
She comes home screamin' "Eddie!" and I just sit back in my chair.
Oh Vanessa, my favorite sister, though she'll never admit it's true,
Her favorite brother's me, Eddie, yeah, we both know it's me and you.
She thinks she's jacked up tough, but brother, she ain't got nothin' on me,
Got her good looks from her big bro, that's just family history!
She takes them massive poops, y'all, and she loves to spread the news,
Tells the whole damn family like it's front-page headline views.
Dyes her hair a different color every month, bright pink then green,
Next thing we know she'll be a liberal with that blue hair lookin' mean.
Oh Vanessa, my favorite sister, though she'll never admit it's true,
Her favorite brother's me, Eddie, yeah, we both know it's me and you.
She thinks she's jacked up tough, but brother, she ain't got nothin' on me,
Got her good looks from her big bro, that's just family history!
She makes them terrible boy decisions, Lord, it hurts to watch her fall,
But she was great at sports back then... wait, dance ain't a sport at all!
Always packin' up for trips, headin' down the shore to catch some waves,
While I'm back home movin' furniture, just to see that fire blaze.
Yeah, she hollers and she laughs, throws a pillow at my head,
But deep down in that Jersey heart, she knows I'm the best big brother she ever had.
Oh Vanessa, my crazy sister, keep on livin' wild and free,
I'll keep annoyin' you forever, 'cause that's how we roll, you and me.
She takes them massive poops, dyes that hair, chases boys and dreams,
But her favorite brother's Eddie... yeah, that's the way it's always gonna be.
