The Perverse Effect

I surround myself with distractions

But I can’t get you off my mind

These dark clouds hang over me

Showing you when I close my eyes

Felt like I was failing, holding you back

But I hate all of the choices I made

My mind was imploding from our past

And I knew I wouldn’t make it another day

Tell me why did we have to end?

Just to find myself again

Yet the happier I seem to get

The further I get into regrets den

As i am chained and bound

In the perverse effect

We keep running in circles

Just the same stuff, different week

But as soon as I let you go

The complacency becomes what I need

I cry and cry, and no one sees

Then I hate myself cause this isn’t me

All I wanted was to find my peace

But all I get is insanity!

Tell me why did we have to end?

Just to find myself again

Yes the Happier I seem to get

The further I get into regret’s den

As I am chained and bound

In the perverse effect

There’s now this wall of our wants and needs

That divides our hearts, makes us weak

Hindering our ability to be on the same side

Which drives the nail into the coffin of our lives

Tell me why did we have to come to an end

just for us to finally be happy again

Yet the happier Weve been trying to get

The harder, the stronger, darker regret

Of all the memories that could have been

I hate myself as I feel this guilt

But I hated the life we were trying to build

Like We knitted our lives with frayed thread

The more we stitched the more frayed it seemed to get

I sit here needing you all the time

But I hate how I made your life

You deserve someone who’s love isn’t dead

I’m just caught in the perverse effect