**[Verse 1]**
Woke up at 3 a.m., fridge light fuckin' glaring
Cookies on the plate, milk half-drained, shit's despairing
Stockings stuffed thick, then I spot that fat sack
All my goddamn Christmas treats, jacked by that hack (fuckin' prick)
Red suit creepin', in my hallway like a perv
Boot prints, ash, and that sticky-ass candy cane curve
But the candy's rolled tight, that's a fiend's wet dream
He winked, climbed the chimney, left me with jack shit, supreme
**[Chorus]**
Santa stole my fuckin' stash, that jolly-ass thief
Ran off with the pack, wrecked my holiday grief
Big red bag, yeah, he cleaned out my goddamn street
Ate my snacks, pulled a lick, then ghosted like a cheat
Santa stole my fuckin' stash, no tree, just debris
Left a note on the plate: "Thanks, you worthless OG"
Elves in the sleigh flippin' keys, straight-up sleaze
Santa stole my stash, now he's taxin' me (yeah, that fat fuck's taxin' me)
**[Verse 2]**
Rudolph in the driveway, nose glowin' like a crack beam
Whole squad fucked up, on that candy cane lean
He laughed, "I've been pimpin' this block all goddamn week
You ain't the first bitch Santa had to straight-up G" (motherfucker)
Got a list, checkin' names, that's his client hit sheet
Snow in the bag – pure coke, bells on his deceitful feet
Drops toys for the brats, actin' all upfront clean
Then doubles back at midnight for the real hunt, mean (skrrt, you cunt)
**[Chorus]**
Santa stole my fuckin' stash, that jolly-ass thief
Ran off with the pack, wrecked my holiday grief
Big red bag, yeah, he cleaned out my goddamn street
Ate my snacks, pulled a lick, then ghosted like a cheat
Santa stole my fuckin' stash, no tree, just debris
Left a note on the plate: "Thanks, you worthless OG"
Elves in the sleigh flippin' keys, straight-up sleaze
Santa stole my stash, now he's taxin' me (yeah, that fat fuck's taxin' me)
**[Bridge]**
I stormed the North Pole, ready to bash his skull in fade
Mrs. Claus at the door, high as fuck in the candy shade
Said, "He's out on route, boy, that man's a sleepless beast"
He's the plug and the predator, got the world on his twisted leash – rapin' the season, feastin' on the weak
**[Chorus]**
Santa stole my fuckin' stash, that jolly-ass thief
Ran off with the pack, wrecked my holiday grief
Big red bag, yeah, he cleaned out my goddamn street
Ate my snacks, pulled a lick, then ghosted like a cheat
Santa stole my fuckin' stash, no tree, just debris
Left a note on the plate: "Thanks, you worthless OG"
Elves in the sleigh flippin' keys, straight-up sleaze
Santa stole my stash, now he's taxin' me (now that fat fuck's taxin' me)
PrinceShawn
