Till I feel sane

Intro – low, tired)

Yeah…

I don’t even like who I am at night.

(Verse 1)

Clock hit twelve and the walls close in

Whole house quiet but my head too loud

Thoughts running laps I can’t outrun

Try to stand tall but I’m breaking down

I say I’m good when they ask how I’ve been

Got real good at pretending

Smile wide in the daylight hours

Then collapse when the sunlight’s ending

There’s a war going on in my chest

Every memory taking a shot

Every “what if” loading a clip

Every “maybe” tying a knot

I don’t wanna call nobody

Don’t wanna hear “you’ll be fine”

Sometimes “fine” feels like a sentence

And I’m serving mine

(Pre-Chorus)

So I sit there staring at the counter

Like it’s calling my name again

I know exactly how this ends

But I still reach for it then

(Hook)

I beat the bottle till I feel sane

Like drowning out the hurricane

For a second it numbs the pain

Then it comes back twice again

I beat the bottle till I feel sane

Like I’m fighting ghosts in my brain

It quiets down the storm and rain

But it never really breaks the chain

(Verse 2)

First sip hit like false relief

Second one blur the edge

Third one tell me I’m strong enough

To stand back on the ledge

But courage poured in a glass

Ain’t courage when it fades

Morning light show me truth

In the mess that I made

Head pounding like regret

Dry mouth tasting shame

Looking at the empty proof

I’m the one to blame

I say I’ll stop tomorrow

But tomorrow feel far

When the only thing that slows my mind

Is sitting in that jar

(Bridge – stripped down)

I don’t want the bottle

I just want the noise to end

I don’t want the numbness

I just want to feel again

(Final Hook – more emotional)

I beat the bottle till I feel sane

Like I’m medicating rain

Like if I drown it deep enough

I won’t feel the weight of pain

I beat the bottle till I feel sane

But sane don’t come that way

It’s just a temporary escape

From a war I’ve gotta face