Yeah... 2 AM, pouring up a glass of nothing. No pills to swallow, just the ache I'm numb to. They say I won the war... but I'm bleeding out in peace. Where you at?
I flushed the powders, poured the liquor down the sink But I’m still drunk off the ghost of what I really need to think Everybody cheering 'cause I beat the chemical decay But they don't know a different needle's pushing me away I’m shooting for a love that mirrors my exact design A soul that matches every scar I got from crossing the line Doing right is killing me, it’s twisting up my brain Sanity is lethal when you're drowning in the plain I traded all the substances for staring at the ceiling Heartbreak is the only drug that gives me that same feeling I need a heart that beats in key with mine, is that too much? I’m sick of touching hands that turn to dust and out of touch.
I’m chasing a high that don't come in a plastic bag I want a red leather love, something that I don't gotta gag I’m doing everything right, but I’m suffocating slow Where’s the one that matches me? Man, I just gotta know Ain't addicted to the drugs no more, I’m addicted to the hope Fighting for a cure that's dangling from a tighter rope Yeah, I’m clean, but my spirit's in the ICU Dying from the absence of a love that's truly true.
Sitting at this bar, last call playing in my head Red leather on my shoulders, wishing I was dead instead Of sober, yeah, this clarity is violently severe I face the man in the mirror, shed a solitary tear I did the work, I read the books, I prayed on bended knees But the universe is quiet, ignoring my pleas I don't want a basic girl, I want the missing half of me The gravity that holds my drifting soul out in the sea Aiming right is agonizing when you miss the mark Walking through a pitch-black tunnel just to find a spark They say good things take time, well time is taking me I’m a masterpiece of ruin where my lover ought to be.
Popped a pill of patience, choked on the aftertaste Swallowed down my pride but left a bitter waste I’m terrified of dying 'fore I get to hold her hand The cleanest man alive, yet barely worth a grain of sand Is she out there? Does she cry herself to sleep like I do? Is she trying to find a man who sees right through the disguise too? This purity is torture, this righteousness is pain I miss the numbness 'cause the feeling's driving me insane.
Yeah, I'm chasing a high that don't come in a plastic bag I want a red leather love, something I don't gotta grab I’m doing everything right, but I’m suffocating slow Where’s the one that matches me? Man, I just gotta know Ain't addicted to the drugs no more, I’m addicted to the hope Fighting for a cure that's dangling from a tighter rope Yeah, I’m clean, but my spirit's in the ICU Dying from the absence of a love that's truly true.
Last call... for the liquor. Last call... for the love. I'm still here. Waiting.
