[Verse 1]
Woke up late on a Monday morn’,
Alarm clock screamin’, boss blowin’ his horn,
But I grabbed my rod, kissed the job goodbye,
‘Cause the Susquehanna’s callin’ and the catfish fly.
They say, “Son, that water ain’t clean!”
But I seen a glow where the reeds turn green.
If the fish got fangs, I don’t care no more—
I’m lookin’ for a bite with a nuclear core.
[Chorus]
Radioactive catfish, dinner on a hook,
Glows in the dark, don’t need to cook.
Down by the dam with a six-pack can,
Skippin’ work for the river, I’m a free man.
Oh mama, if I grow a third eye,
Just means I can spot ‘em before they bite!
[Verse 2]
Got a buddy named Earl, with a tinfoil hat,
Says the catfish whisper where the fallout’s at.
We set up shop by the rusted sign—
“Swim at your risk”—looks like dinner time.
Pulled a beast from the mud with a dorsal spark,
It blinked at me and barked like a dog in the dark.
But I fried it up with some old bay spice,
Tasted like vengeance—and a little bit of vice.
[Chorus]
Radioactive catfish, dinner on a hook,
Glows in the dark, don’t need to cook.
Down by the dam with a six-pack can,
Skippin’ work for the river, I’m a free man.
If my teeth fall out and my hair turns blue,
At least I ain’t in a cubicle zoo.
[Bridge]
Got no pension, got no plan,
Just a mutant fish fry in my cast iron pan.
Boss keeps callin’, voicemail’s full,
Tell him I’m busy gettin’ powerful.
[Breakdown]
(Whispered)
They say it’s wrong, but it feels so right,
When your dinner’s got a tail and a UV light…
[Final Chorus]
Radioactive catfish, my claim to fame,
Glows like sin and it don’t feel shame.
Down by the tracks where the outlaws roam,
The Susquehanna’s callin’—and I’m goin’ home.
KylePatrick
