Jordan

(Verse 1)

Oh, here comes Jordan, king of the scene,

Ego so big, it"s burstin’ the seams,

Says he ain"t ‘bout money—oh, what a joke,

He’d rob his own mum for a tenner of coke!

(Pre-Chorus)

Flexin’ on Insta, pretendin’ he’s woke,

But his wallet cries every time that he’s broke,

Got a Gucci belt, but the tags say "fake,"

Sellin’ dreams, but he’s on the take!

(Chorus)

Ohhh, Jordan, you ain’t that slick,

Your lies so thick, it’s makin’ me sick,

Livin’ that life with a crack pipe dream,

But your grandiose schemes ain"t what they seem!

(Verse 2)

Now Jordan’s got Mary, his concrete queen,

Knickers so tight, they shimmer and gleam,

Took a power drill, an angle grinder,

Just to get near—man, love couldn"t find her!

(Pre-Chorus)

Steamin’ up her jam jar specs,

Gettin’ hot ‘cause his ego’s flexed,

He says she’s his ride-or-die,

But they both just smoke and lie!

(Chorus)

Ohhh, Jordan, you ain’t that slick,

Your lies so thick, it’s makin’ me sick,

Livin’ that life with a crack pipe dream,

But your grandiose schemes ain"t what they seem!

(Bridge)

Mum"s got a padlock on her purse,

‘Cause Jordan’s habits just got worse,

He swears he"s clean, he"s changed his ways,

But last week he pawned her microwave!

(Outro)

So here’s to Jordan, big shot supreme,

Master of the self-absorbed dream,

But when the money runs dry and the crack runs out,

We’ll see what that ego’s all about!

(Mic drop, fade to Jordan begging for spare change.)