River of Light

There’s a hole in my heart where the light gets out

Too small for the grief, too small for the gift

My float is deflated, I’m kneeling now

at a pocket of grace I can hold in my fist

Just big enough to enjoy

Just shallow enough to control

You guard it, you ration it

You grieve when it goes

The river is roaring

you don’t even know

When you lament a puddle, you’re forgetting the river

The wound was always a door

You were made to be carried, you were made to be moved

You cannot sip it politely anymore

You tighten around the opening

call it safety, call it wise

constricted to one small point of darkness

you’ve been standing in the river

the whole time

Just big enough to enjoy

Just shallow enough to control

You guard it, you ration it

You grieve when it goes

The river is roaring

you don’t even know

When you lament a puddle, you’re forgetting the river

The wound was always a door

You were made to be carried, you were made to be moved

You cannot sip it politely anymore

My love

I will wait here

as long as it takes

when you’re done mourning

what could never

hold your weight

let it enter

let it widen

let the river have you

When you lament a puddle, you’re forgetting the river

The wound was always a door

You were made to be carried, you were made to be moved

The hole in your heart is not leaking

It’s widening you

It’s widening you​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​