Love is stronger, than hate

I hate that I have to learn to retrust. I hate that you went outside our relationship and continued to choose to pretend to stay in it and use the excuse we were in a bad place , which is why you did what you did , I hate it.

I hate it all, losing trust in you and having to sit in this car where you had meetings with the guy, I hate the calculated choices and decisions that were made by you , I hate how I believed I was working on trying to save us by showing you who I am for you when all along you were lying to me and having the affair. I hate that I had to audition for the role of your husband, best friend and confidant,

I hate that I knew all along and was to afraid to acknowledge it as I didn’t want to lose you when in fact you were gone.

I hate that our relationship Lost all of its innocence by all the decisions and choices that were made by you

I hate myself for loving you and not wanting to let go, I hate myself for putting you through verbal hell when I started to harbor resentment .

I hate myself for allowing for a window of opportunity for you to seek the attention and physical pleasure of another person .

I can’t tell you how much I hate myself right now. And why o feel like I’ve lost myself, you and our relationship.

I thought I’d tell you that every day, I have to remind myself of all the reasons why I love you, versus all the times you strayed into his arms. I hate the lies you told me to cover it up and make it seem like it wasn’t and didn’t mean anything to you. The lies that downplayed the actions so I wouldn’t think it was that bad.

I hate it all, yet I love you more than I hate the situation. I love you more than I value myself.

And I feel that one day the reality of it will come to an end when you walk away from me again

I will love you deeply, I will you big, I will love you forever

I will love you for all eternity.