“Drowning in Silence”

⸻

I walk in the bar with my head hangin’ low,

Fake smile on my face so the hurt don’t show.

They think I’m fine, but they don’t really know,

Inside I’m dyin’, drownin’ slow in my soul.

Every laugh I give, it’s a lie on repeat,

Heart heavy like boots draggin’ concrete.

Mirror say I’m fat, say I’m ugly, incomplete,

How the hell could I find love in these streets?

So I drink, just to numb all the pain,

Hide the storm inside while I dance in the rain.

I just want someone to look past the shame,

But I don’t know how to talk, don’t know how to explain.

Everybody got advice like “just be yourself,”

But when I’m myself, I feel less than everybody else.

Confidence broken, shattered pieces on the floor,

I’m scared of rejection, so I don’t try anymore.

Bottle after bottle, tryna quiet my thoughts,

But the silence in my chest is the loudest it got.

I rehearse conversations that I’ll never start,

Stuck in my head, locked away from my heart.

See a girl across the room, she a spark in the night,

Perfect smile in the crowd, like she glowin’ with light.

But I freeze where I stand, tell myself I ain’t right,

So I drink another round and fade out of sight.

Lonely nights add up, and the pain never fades,

I’ve been livin’ in a cycle like I’m stuck in a cage.

Smiles in the daylight, but they all just a mask,

I’m a broken record, playin’ out of the past.

Wish I had courage, wish I had faith,

Wish I could stand tall and not feel out of place.

Instead I’m a ghost in a room full of sound,

A shadow on the wall where no one looks around.

They say confidence is key, but my lock rusted shut,

I been stabbed by the world, scars deep in my gut.

I’m searchin’ for a soul that could see who I am,

Not the weight, not the face, but the man in my hands.

If love’s in the bar, I’m too blind to see,

‘Cause I drown in the liquor instead of bein’ me.

I speak loud in my mind, but my lips never move,

Guess I’m trapped in my fear with too much to prove.

I know there’s more to life than this cycle I live,

More than the nights where I take, never give.

I pray for that moment where I find my own voice,

Where I talk without fear and make my own choice.

Maybe one day I’ll stand, let my truth be revealed,

Show the world all my pain and begin to be healed.

But tonight I still struggle, tonight I still hide,

Behind a fake smile with this emptiness inside.

So I drink, just to numb all the pain,

Hide my broken spirit like it’s part of the game.

I just want someone to look past the shame,

One day I’ll find the words, one day I’ll change.