Getting high

I don't know why even though I try my best to let go of all my stress I keep getting high got so much pain in my chest so before I lay in rest I pray to the sky that my God gives me a chance to make up for all this mess before I die before I die as I wake up sometimes I like to smoke to release all the stress that my body holds cuz it's harder than this life that I chose to live but dear God give me a chance to live what kind of started being a f****** g is in my destiny to win it's almost tragedy my heart bleeds cuz I'm a thug n**** I only chill with criminals and drug dealers I'll be a thug till the day I die see I don't got a line getting high looking at the sky I ask myself why the thug life is the one I choose but I was born a broke his kid I ain't got s*** to lose that no excuse for the time of being in the pain and no regrets for the time I shot a n**** in the head now they call me crazy cuz I wanted to take twice to put a mother f***** on the payment believe me and I ever since I'm in my boys I had no choice the little thug in me came out to make some noise but dear Lord please forgive me for my sins you know that I'm a thug and this is who I am I was raised up in a heartless world full of hate I had a little thugging me and look who I became a young n***** really stuck in this game I'm getting hooked up and witted every day I think I'm going the same but it's going to be right I got to hold on I got to keep my faith in God I got to stay strong until this day I'll be forever f****** thug again I keep my faith and got to keep myself from falling