[Intro – slow, soulful pop vocal]
Heard a voice from the sky say “Come down here,”
Craving tacos, not trauma, now I live in fear.
Landed next to a food truck with glitter and spice…
Then her mom bent over and changed my life. 😳
---
[Verse 1 – smooth R&B-meets-funk]
I asked for carnitas, she gave me carnal
She said “You want hot sauce?” I said “Internal.”
That crop top was clingin’ like clingwrap sin,
Now I’m knee-deep in salsa and about to give in.
She said, “Mijo, I like aliens freaky,”
Then whispered bad things while licking my pinky.
She had hoop earrings and a fupa of gold,
And a back so strong it broke my console.
---
[Chorus – full pop explosion, miracle vibes]
🌮 I came for tacos, I stayed for her thighs,
Now I’m greased up in lard and asking God why.
🌮 Her breath was tequila, her grip was divine,
She sat on my face like it’s taco time.
👽 No mission, no plan, no beam-me-up call,
Just her yelling “¡Más duro!” in a bathroom stall.
🌮 This ain’t first contact — it’s second base shame,
I came for tacos… and forgot my name.
---
[Verse 2 – raunchier, funk-pop bounce]
She pulled me behind the grill, said “Now you cook.”
I said, “I’m not from Earth,” she said “I don’t read books.”
Her apron said “Spicy,” her thighs said “Trap,”
She turned me over like a breakfast wrap.
She was 49 with a mortgage and hips,
Taught me things that would cancel my ships.
My translator broke when she did that trick,
Now I speak fluent moan and deep throat physics.
---
[Bridge – dramatic key change, church choir backing]
She baptized me in queso,
Whispered secrets in Spanglish flow…
My spaceship’s gone, my dignity’s low…
But her tamales made my tentacles glow.
---
[Final Chorus – gospel-style glory with moans & trombone]
🌮 I came for tacos, I left in a sling,
She rode me hard like a mechanical thing.
🌮 She called me “churro boy,” fed me with cream,
Now I’m the stepdad of her whole damn team.
👽 ET phone home? Nah, ET got played,
By a MILF in Crocs with a switchblade braid.
🌮 There’s a lesson I learned that I’ll take to the stars…
Don’t eat street tacos… with your pants off in cars.
---
[Outro – voicemail + mariachi horns]
“Hola, this is Earth Immigration.
Your alien overstayed…
And is now working night shifts at Señora’s Taco Hole.™
Please send help. Or wet wipes.”
🛸 Sponsored by: Jalapeño Lube™, Mom Jeans Revenge™, and Abuela's Secret Sauce (Now in edible underwear).
Masterdkassovic
