Deep Inside

I lost so many years

So many happy memories

I lost myself

Within so many times

Tried to live half a life

Stuck in my bed

Even too tired to rise

I tried medication and therapy

Spoke about it every opportunity

Hidden under a dishonest smile

Till I got a broken exhausting life

And bleed in form of tears

Never got myself to leave

It wasn't too bad a life

Only the feelings deep inside

Wanted to scream, had no strength

Wanted to die, but was too afraid

Wanted to sleep and never wake

Being done with all the pain

I lost some friends on the way

Got some new anyway

But good times are never free

Accompanied with lot of fears

Nightmares target every memory

They didn't even wait for sleep

It wasn't too bad a life

Only the feelings deep inside

Wanted to scream, had no strength

Wanted to die, but was too afraid

Wanted to sleep and never wake

Being done with all the pain

I wasn't sad with my tears

Only allowed were unfounded fears

Empty inside and still so loud

Could never really describe,

What made me want to disappear

It wasn't too bad a life

Only the feelings deep inside

Wanted to scream, had no strength

Wanted to die, but was too afraid

Wanted to sleep and never wake

Being done with all the pain

But the dream I still have

That someday I learn to be

Without all this negativity

The hope one day I find

Happiness worth to survive