Studied Wilber's stages, climbed from red to turquoise tiers,
Maslow's pyramid taught me that survival births your fears.
But Stoics showed equanimity—sit with fire, don't react,
Buddhism turned my pain to gold, transmuted through the cracks.
Jesus spoke in parables 'cause truth needs metaphor to breathe,
Mental Chemistry taught atoms in my thoughts create belief.
Milton Erickson's hypnosis—words that heal while you're asleep,
I learned language is a parasite that I can make my keep.
Reprogrammed every phrase from chains to wings inside my chest,
Jung said archetypes are templates—called the Father, faced the test.
Crowley claimed "Do what thou wilt," I twisted it with grace:
My will is love, my law is service, selfishness erased.
See, I'm selfish for the chance to give, addicted to the grind,
Of lifting others from the mud while I stay last in line.
Not 'cause I'm a martyr, not 'cause I'm divine—
'Cause if I lead from the rear, no one gets left behind.
[HOOK]
I walk hand in hand at the bottom, not the peak,
Gardener of the broken, shepherd of the weak.
My will is law but the law is love's design,
I choose the rear guard every time.
Long-suffering like Christ, detached but fully here,
Transmuting pain to purpose, turning doubt to clear.
I'm not the first one out—I'm the last one through the door,
'Cause someone's gotta count the heads and carry one more.
[VERSE 2]
Agape love don't need return, it burns without demand,
Christian long-suffering taught me how to understand:
That sacrifice ain't loss when it's your choice to bleed,
When your selfishness is serving, you're the one that's freed.
Jung showed me the Shadow, so I shook the devil's hand,
Integrated every demon 'til they joined the band.
Crowley said "True Will," I found mine in humble soil:
To guard the ones who stumble while the others take the spoil.
I'm detached but not removed—I feel it all, I just don't drown,
Buddhist alchemy turns suffering to lotus from the ground.
Stoic calm don't mean I'm cold, it means I choose my stance,
Equanimity in chaos is the rearguard's dance.
Maslow climbed from safety needs to self-actualize,
But I found purpose at the base, where the lowest meet my eyes.
Wilber mapped the spirals, I descended every stage,
To meet you where you're broken, that's my calling, that's my rage.
[BRIDGE]
They ask why I don't take the throne when I could lead the charge,
I say: the ones who need me most are moving slow and large.
The stragglers, the forgotten, the ones who lose their breath—
I'm here to be the last resort between them and their death.
Not 'cause I'm a savior, not 'cause I'm the best,
But 'cause my selfish heart won't let me rest
'Til everyone I love is safe across the line,
So I guard the rear, make sure they all got time.
