They say “common sense” is free — but they can’t afford the fee,
Tryna microwave a Pop-Tart… still in the wrapper, G.
Scrollin’ through life like a Facebook prophet,
Arguin’ flat Earth with a globe in their pocket.
They eat Tide Pods, vote with memes,
Think Wi-Fi runs on ice cream beams.
Ask if tuna comes from trees,
Then blame the moon for their disease.
It’s the idiot parade, bring the flags and float the shade!
Where every thought’s delayed and two brain cells just got played.
They’re confidently confused, aggressively amused,
Making bad decisions like it’s something they can’t lose.
Let’s all stand and clap —
For the kings of the crap!
It’s the idiot parade… somebody get the map!
Tried to charge their vape with a cucumber slice,
Argued “Jesus was Italian ’cause he liked bread and spice.”
Thought “Amazon Prime” was a royal queen,
And asked why “Bluetooth” isn’t really blue or green.
They say “vaccines have microchips,”
But drink gas station nacho dips.
They post “Rise and Grind” at noon,
Then get scammed by a cartoon raccoon.
It’s the idiot parade, led by logic’s lemonade —
Sour, sweet, and barely made, with facts that just decay.
They’re shouting in ALL CAPS,
Wearing tinfoil hats,
Doing math on Snapchat filters, trustin’ clickbait apps.
Give ‘em love, give ‘em grace,
Just don’t let ‘em steer the base…
It’s the idiot parade — full throttle, no brakes!
Oh look, Becky’s got a new theory:
The sun’s fake, and birds are spies.
Meanwhile, Chad’s trying to sue gravity
’Cause he tripped on his own lies.
Dumb and loud,
Proud and wrong,
TikTok taught ‘em
All along.
Say it twice,
Spell it bad,
IQ’s missing —
But they’re mad.
It’s the idiot parade, no facts ever stayed!
Logic left the chat and now it’s throwing shade.
They’re legends in their mind,
With conclusions undefined,
Riding tricycles of truth into traffic signs!
So salute, sit back, and sip your tea —
Here comes the braincell bankruptcy!
Mario_Maldonado
