Wishing to be perfect

I wish I was perfect, I wish I was like other girls… 
Skinny
Don’t have problems with their back 
Has perfect hearing 
Doesn’t have breathing problems 
Don’t have breakouts an have a hairy body….
Wish I was normal like them… 
I wish I didn’t have anger issues most of the time… 
Wish I could be what thy are..normal, perfect human beings… without any issues…. 
…. 
I hate myself deep down.. 
an I hide it so well…
I act like I’m fine… but I’m not.. 
I feel like an empty shell…
I don’t know how to love myself….
I lost my father… 
I am always scared of losing more people I love an care for.. 
no body understands until thy see it in my shoes… 
……. 

I am happy for having this wonderful guy in my life an I am scared of losing him… 
Of all ways… 
Finding another girl etc..
I try my hardest.. 
but seems like that if I do try i feel like I am not trying enough… 
I’m scared.. I’m hurt.. I’m worried… 
I’m mainly scared of myself more than anything…

Soft emo  country