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I’m really happy today.I talked to my boyfriend,laughed with the best mom I could’ve ever asked for,played games with my friends and for a second everything felt real.

But anxiety is cruel like that.

It hides in the dark like that twenty dollar bill you forgot about in a drawer.You think it’s gone,you think maybe you’re finally okay,then one day it shows back up like it never left at all.you see Anxiety is a ticking time bomb.You never know when it’s gonna explode,or who’s gonna set it off.One wrong word,one small change in someone’s tone,and suddenly my chest is collapsing in on its self all over again.

I leave my walls down because I care too much.I put people firstuntil there’s nothing left of me,and the second I try to choose myself I become selfish,self-centered,the problem.

“you’re full of it.”

Maybe I am.Maybe I’m full of all the things I never say out loud.All the hurt I swallow whole because I’m terrified of hurting someone else.Terrified of losing the people I love the most.

I’ve been stepped on like dirt under someone’s shoe.Swatted away like a fly nobody wants around.People peel me off their lives like I’m a leech,something disgusting,something easy to throw away.

And some how I still keep trying to be soft.

I’m the thorn trying so hard to become a flower.But thorns don’t bloom overnight.Especially when they spend their whole life bleeding for everyone else.