🎧 [Intro – dark synth + anime narrator]
📜 “It was written…
That the Holy One would clap cheeks across seven realms…
But fate… has sealed his strength.
The prophecy is silenced…
...and the cheeks remain...
…unclapped. 💔🍑
🎙️ Last time on OP Nerd:
After getting robbed by bouncing bandits in the Desert of Double Cheeks,
Our Holy Hero stormed the Kingdom of Bounce to reclaim his loot…
But instead, they clapped back with a curse.
Now he's belted, blueballed, and dangerously loaded.
---
🎤 [Verse 1 – explosive J-rock burst]
🔥 I kicked in the gates with a sacred moan,
Waifu blade drawn, snacks overthrown.
Said, “I came to clap for world peace,”
But the Queen said, “Nah,” and snatched my piece. 😤
👑 They forged a belt from anti-simp stone,
Strapped it on tight, left me alone.
Now I’m pacing halls with my balls on fire,
And the prophecy’s stuck in a chastity mire.
---
🎤 [Pre-Chorus – rising holy fury]
🎵 The scrolls said “Clap across space and time,”
Now I just twitch to a lo-fi chime.
I see the bounce, I feel the quake,
But this damn belt just won’t let me break!
---
🌟 [Chorus – prophecy shattering power chant]
UNLOAD ★ BREAK — THE PROPHECY’S JAMMED!
Thighland's crumbling, the booty's damned.
Scrolls once glowed when I blessed a nun,
Now I can’t even nut in Dimension One. 🙃
HOLY ONE — CURSED BY CHEEKS,
Can’t cast “Thicc Blast,” been down for weeks.
Meant to bust and bless the land,
But now I’m just jerkin’… with my other hand. 🥲
---
🎤 [Verse 2 – unholy buildup]
⚔️ I didn’t simp my way through slime and bone,
To be locked up by a belt and left alone.
The titty priestess weeps at dawn,
Says, “The Holy One’s juice… is gone.” 💀
👀 Even the nuns pray for my leak,
But the sacred strap won't let me peak.
Twerk too close and I might combust,
This meat’s a bomb — I was born to bust! 💣
---
🎧 [Bridge – anime glitch chant + sad sax]
Whispers:
“They sealed the Simp King… prophecy stalled…
Seven Realms thick… yet none get balled…”
🎵 They twerked and teased, I watched in pain,
This belt’s the true final boss campaign.
🎵 I trained to clap, I trained to serve,
But now I just twitch when the booties swerve.
---
🌟 [Final Chorus – anime opening energy unleashed]
UNLOAD ★ BREAK — LEGENDARY PAIN!
One false thrust and I’ll drown the plains.
Scrolls unravel, fate’s gone rogue,
I nutted in dreams and broke the code. 💦
HOLY ONE — FINAL LOAD MODE,
Blessed with cheeks that could crush a toad.
Twerk too close, I’ll detonate fate,
Seven Realms wet — time to lubricate. 💀💖
---
🧻 [Outro – narrator over orchestral moans and rising dramatic strings]
📜 “Thus the prophecy holds its breath…
Awaiting the day the chastity seal shall shatter…
When thighs tremble… and kingdoms quake…
And the Holy One shall unleash… his Sacred Load.”
🎙️ Next time on OP Nerd:
Will the belt finally break?
Will the cheeks finally clap?
Or will Thighland drown... in eternal blueballs? 💥💦
