Sorry I’m not enough

Written from Pat’s heart to her children

I was just a young girl, shaped by circumstance.

Loved by my father, but I could still feel the difference.

It weighed heavy on my little heart,

So I ran away at fourteen — too young to fall apart.

The world was cold, and I didn’t understand,

Still, I brought you here and did the best I can.

If I could do it again, I’d cover you in love from above,

Wrapped in the arms and protection of Jehovah’s love.

Sorry I wasn’t enough.

I tried to make each dinner warm,

And every birthday and holiday magical.

I prayed that love would cover us,

Even when I crossed the line.

In a world so rough,

But through it all, my children —

Sorry I wasn’t enough.

Harry, my firstborn, my light, my son,

My first taste of unconditional love had just begun.

Proud when I saw you take that stage,

“Illegitimate Baby” on the news — not a crime, but a page.

Then the Army called, and you became their soldier,

But you were ours first — we leaned on your shoulder.

Protect your sister’s heart with grace, not fight,

Guide her to peace — that’s what you were trained to do, soldier.

Sorry I wasn’t enough.

Jimmy, my protector, my shadow, my flame,

You stared into my soul the day you came.

You fought to keep the wolves away,

And stood for family every day.

You built with your hands and loved with your heart,

You’ve been my anchor from the very start.

Thank you for making me feel enough.

Crystal, my first daughter — a storm and a star,

You led every board and reached so far.

At seventeen, you ran Petrie’s floor,

Now you’re a doctor — how could I ask for more?

But baby, your truth shouldn’t tear me apart,

Don’t paint my name with lies from the heart.

Tell your story, but tell it with love,

And remember your power — your mother’s face.

Sorry I wasn’t enough.

Carol, my rebel, my mirror, my test,

You questioned it all and still gave your best.

You stayed when others turned away,

You made me face truths I couldn’t say.

You told me I’m a healer — now I see,

Healing means accepting the pain in me.

You gave me the hardest time, that’s true,

But you taught me strength — and love, too.

Thank you for seeing me when I couldn’t see myself.

Danny, my last born son, my calm and my pride,

Always intelligent, with peace inside.

You made the grades, you walked the line,

You gave me structure — you gave me time.

Protecting our name, preserving our grace,

A testimony of love I can’t replace.

My proudest moments — your honors, your faith,

Accepting Jehovah, walking in grace.

Though you’re not perfect, your heart stays true,

And even in silence, I feel you.

Your love may lack words, but your loyalty is tough —

And I hope you know… I am enough.

This is what a sixteen-year-old mother can do —

You’re not menaces — you’re miracles to me,

And through forgiveness, I finally see.

I release the pain that no longer serves.

My Austin Five — love is who each of you are.

You are me.

I am your mother…

And I am enough.