Pain inside me

Daylight fighting through until it's midnight I been down way down to the floor lost everyone through this war that I fight all alone stuck in that four wall room crying to myself wishing I was gone so much pain for everything that went wrong I can hear these voices screaming praying for help tears in each of their eyes all I can do is blame myself saying it's not my fault would be a lie the only that gave herself enough to care but made a mistake not to care she was the brightest light to shine through the dark where I was found lost fighting against these demons but the devil don't play fair I'll give my life just so she can be spared started to lose my soul because my pride just got so cold now I open my eyes and she no where thinking where did she go on my knees begging God please I'm trying my best to get there lord knows I love her please let her know I love her been so depressed feeling if I'm better off dead