Why am I still suffering?

It's been a while since I let out a cry like this

Overwhelmed in my own conscience

These agonizing thoughts haunting my brain

So many things I wish I didn't say

All the good times we had is barely a memory

Replaced with all the bad times, they come to harm me

When I think I've found happiness

It gets overpowered with darkness

We've moved over 100 miles from that place we called home

It's filled with so much stuff that you owned

But it just doesn't feel the same without you

When the holidays come it slowly fades to gloom

When I remember the smile on your face

It traps me with an uncontrollable pain

From all the terrible things I've done

I'll take them all back at once

I know that you've forgiven me (forgiven me)

But I still haven't forgiven myself

I keep beating myself up (yes I have)

Feels like I've been hit by a truck

It's been over 3 years (oh oh)

But I'm still sitting in a pool of tears

With my melancholy heart (heart)

I will turn it into art

Ahhhhhh

Ahhhhhh

Why am I still suffering

Echoes in my head still muttering

Ahhhhhh

Ahhhhhh

From the second you took your last breath

I've never been the same since then

I know that you've forgiven me (forgiven me)

But I still haven't forgiven myself

I keep beating myself up (yes I have)

Feels like I've been hit by a truck

It's been over 3 years (oh oh)

But I'm still sitting in a pool of tears

With my melancholy heart (heart)

I will turn it into art

Mm

I'm so so sorry and I miss you