She kept the castle, I got the outhouse

Verse 1)  
Well, she took the palace, the pooch, and the pearls,  
Left me here with squirrels and bills unfurled,  
Said, “Don’t you fret, you’ve still got pride!”  
Yeah, me and my pride live side by side.
(Chorus)  
She kept the castle, I got the outhouse,  
She got the horse, I got the plow mouse,  
She’s drinkin’ bubbly, I’m drinkin’ swill,  
Lord, she kept the castle — and I got the bills!
(Verse 2)  
She took the tractor, the truck, and the tunes,  
I got a mattress and three raccoons,  
She’s out there brunchin’ with her fancy crew,  
I’m heatin’ beans in my left boot shoe.
(Chorus)  
She kept the castle, I got the outhouse,  
She got the silk, I got the blouse (that’s loud!),  
She got the crown, I got the chills,  
Lord, she kept the castle — and I got the bills!
(Bridge)  
Guess I shoulda seen it comin’ that day,  
When the dog stopped barkin’ and the cat ran away,  
Now even my mirror won’t foot the rent,  
I pawned my throne for a camping tent!
(Final Chorus)  
She kept the castle, I got the outhouse,  
She’s sippin’ chardonnay, I’m milkin’ a cow,  
She’s queen of hearts, I’m king of nils,  
Yeah, she kept the castle —  
I kept the thrills… (and ten overdue bills!)
(Tag)  
Yep, she kept the castle,  
And I’m just lord of landfills!

Bluegrass comedy, male duo harmony