Verse 1
The phone-ins are melting, the tweets are in flight,
The conspiracy theorists are crying all night.
They say that the whistle blows only for us,
While building a narrative under the bus.
They reckon the script is rewritten in chalk,
To hand us the trophy on Glasgow's Green walk.
Chorus
Oh, we’re referee buying and VAR multiplying,
The league is rigged up, well there is no denying!
From Glasgow to Leith, they are grinding their teeth,
While we polish the silverware hidden beneath.
Keep crying your tears, pass the tissues around,
The champions’ flag stays on Paradise ground!
Verse 2
Poor old Kris Boyd is on Sky looking vexed,
He’s checking the rulebook to see what is next.
His pearly white smile has gone totally sour,
As Celtic gets stronger with every past hour.
He’s muttering nonsense and shaking his head,
Distraught that the Hoops are out front and ahead.
Chorus
Oh, we’re referee buying and VAR multiplying,
The league is rigged up, well there is no denying!
From Glasgow to Leith, they are grinding their teeth,
While we polish the silverware hidden beneath.
Keep crying your tears, pass the tissues around,
The champions’ flag stays on Paradise ground!
Verse 3
Down at Ibrox they’re claiming a grand masonry plot,
Every penalty given is one they have not.
And Derek McInnes is sour at the back,
Complaining our budget has caused the attack.
While Hearts up in Edinburgh join the sad queue,
Blaming the handballs on green and not blue.
Verse 4
They say the SFA is run from the East,
To feed the great Glasgow metropolitan beast.
Every slow-mo review is a trick of the light,
To make sure the Celts are victorious at night.
So pack up your tinfoil and put it away,
We just play the football that wins us the day.
Chorus
Oh, we’re referee buying and VAR multiplying,
The league is rigged up, well there is no denying!
From Glasgow to Leith, they are grinding their teeth,
While we polish the silverware hidden beneath.
Keep crying your tears, pass the tissues around,
The champions’ flag stays on Paradise ground!
Kevin Laden 
