I don’t know where to start. But I guess I’ll start by saying I’m not okay. I’m not mentally or physically or emotionally stable. I been thru so much shii in my 23 years of living. From broken relationships to broken love. I never healed alone. I always wanted love in ways I never had or imagined. Like I want someone to be actually be there and care for me and love me for me. It may take time but it’s worth it because under all this stress and anxiety and broken heart and scars is a guy who actually enjoys love and cherish it. I have been lied on and used and mentally abused. I was talked about by my own family and told dat they wouldn’t support me in anything I do. I been told by my
Own mother dat I wouldn’t graduate from high school and you know how dat affected me hearing my own mother tell me. It tore me down completely and strip me of my confidence in a major way. After dat I been questioning myself and maintaining my distance fr. Because I can’t get love and support from my own mother would i actually get it from ?
All my relationships have been really bad and half of the time I feel like I’m the problem because of my ways and how I shut down and stay mute but I also been cheated on and showed dat i didn’t mean anything to anyone and dat my feelings didn’t matter to ppl I date. It was always about them and not us or me. I always made sure they had everything they needed and they never made sure dat I was okay. I always keep a smile on my face and acted like it never bothered me but deep down I was hurting and dying on the inside. And I went thru a phone one time I will never ever do dat again because my heart literally dropped to my ass and i literally cried my hardest and i swore to never love again because it’s not real and Shiii anit what it seems to be.
Then dealing with my baby mama puts more stress on me because she threatens me work my son saying I won’t be able to see him or come get him and he literally the piece who holds me together fr. Like I been called bitter and a sprem donor. Like I get taken to hell and back with her fr ‼️. But I wanna get my son and move away fr.
But I feel like I can work on myself a lot more because some of my ways not the right to handle things but it’s how I handle everything and dealt with a lot myself and how I fixed my self on my own fr.
