welcome to the freak market

Intro

Yeah…

I walked into the adult store off two gummies and a bad decision…

Now everything in this place got opinions…

⸻

Verse 1

Walked through the door, heard a buzz in the back

Thought the lava lamp was havin’ a panic attack

Neon sign blinked, said “welcome my son”

I said “nah bro, I’m just here for fun”

Then a mannequin winked from the leather aisle

Said “those Crocs ain’t sexy, change your style”

I looked at a rubber duck dressed in lace

He said “confidence matters, fix your face”

Now the disco lights meltin’ on the floor

And the cashier look like a medieval wizard lord

A shelf full of toys started singin’ in harmony

Like a church choir fueled by batteries

⸻

Chorus

I’m trippin’ balls at the sex store tonight

Everything vibratin’ under neon lights

A teddy bear whispered “you’ll be alright”

Then a fake mustache challenged me to a fight

Oh no, the walls start breathin’ again

A mannequin said “we should just be friends”

I came for laughs, now I’m emotionally involved

Trippin’ at the freak store losin’ it all

⸻

Verse 2

Saw a feather boa dancin’ by itself

A disco ball screamin’ from the top shelf

Then a bottle of lube said “stay hydrated king”

I said “bro why everything counseling me?”

Cash register opened up real slow

Sounded like Morgan Freeman puttin’ on a show

He said “young traveler, choose wisely tonight”

I bought gummy worms and a traffic light

Then the speaker played smooth jazz too loud

I swear the floor tiles started forming a crowd

One box yelled “DON’T READ MY REVIEWS”

Another one cried about student loans and booze

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Chorus

I’m trippin’ balls at the sex store tonight

Everything vibratin’ under neon lights

The cashier floated past me like a ghost

Then asked if I wanted rewards points the most

Oh no, the walls start breathin’ again

The cowboy hat rack became my friend

I came for laughs, now I’m mentally dissolved

Trippin’ at the freak store losin’ it all

⸻

Bridge

Then a giant inflatable flamingo said:

“Honestly man… you should text her back.”

I started cryin’ next to the candy rack

While a Bluetooth speaker played smooth sax

⸻

Outro

Sun came up, I was still confused

Holding sour gummies and one left shoe

Store clerk waved, said “see you next week”

I said “probably… but next time less freaky”