Intro
Yeah…
I walked into the adult store off two gummies and a bad decision…
Now everything in this place got opinions…
⸻
Verse 1
Walked through the door, heard a buzz in the back
Thought the lava lamp was havin’ a panic attack
Neon sign blinked, said “welcome my son”
I said “nah bro, I’m just here for fun”
Then a mannequin winked from the leather aisle
Said “those Crocs ain’t sexy, change your style”
I looked at a rubber duck dressed in lace
He said “confidence matters, fix your face”
Now the disco lights meltin’ on the floor
And the cashier look like a medieval wizard lord
A shelf full of toys started singin’ in harmony
Like a church choir fueled by batteries
⸻
Chorus
I’m trippin’ balls at the sex store tonight
Everything vibratin’ under neon lights
A teddy bear whispered “you’ll be alright”
Then a fake mustache challenged me to a fight
Oh no, the walls start breathin’ again
A mannequin said “we should just be friends”
I came for laughs, now I’m emotionally involved
Trippin’ at the freak store losin’ it all
⸻
Verse 2
Saw a feather boa dancin’ by itself
A disco ball screamin’ from the top shelf
Then a bottle of lube said “stay hydrated king”
I said “bro why everything counseling me?”
Cash register opened up real slow
Sounded like Morgan Freeman puttin’ on a show
He said “young traveler, choose wisely tonight”
I bought gummy worms and a traffic light
Then the speaker played smooth jazz too loud
I swear the floor tiles started forming a crowd
One box yelled “DON’T READ MY REVIEWS”
Another one cried about student loans and booze
⸻
Chorus
I’m trippin’ balls at the sex store tonight
Everything vibratin’ under neon lights
The cashier floated past me like a ghost
Then asked if I wanted rewards points the most
Oh no, the walls start breathin’ again
The cowboy hat rack became my friend
I came for laughs, now I’m mentally dissolved
Trippin’ at the freak store losin’ it all
⸻
Bridge
Then a giant inflatable flamingo said:
“Honestly man… you should text her back.”
I started cryin’ next to the candy rack
While a Bluetooth speaker played smooth sax
⸻
Outro
Sun came up, I was still confused
Holding sour gummies and one left shoe
Store clerk waved, said “see you next week”
I said “probably… but next time less freaky”