Love yall

Kids, I know I hurt you both! I know you’re disappointed in me! I am beyond sorry that I couldn’t stay out and free! I’m sorry I fucked up being your mom! I know it was embarrassing to see your momma done went to jail for possession of drugs! I can’t tell you how deeply sorry I am! 
I need you guys to know that I want to be drug free!
I want to be out free making amazing memories with my two babies! I want to be sober! I want to be a good mommy! 
The night I got arrested sitting in that police car with handcuffs on behind my back all I can think about was how badly you guys were going to be hurt by me! I hate that I hurt you, I hate that I made you cry, I hurt that you can’t trust me because all I did was lie! But I need you to know that I am trying all I can to make it better for you and me! When I got bonded out by mamaw I blocked all my people that I thought were friends with me but all they wanted was me to be their drug family! When I drive by their houses I feel my heart start racing because my anxiety is telling me to stop and wants me to hit that foil! But I know I gotta stay drug free! 
I’m sorry for all those times, that I promised you guys something and didn’t hold that promise to you! How hurt you guys must’ve felt! I’m sorry I disappointed you both! I didn’t mean to hurt you! 
I need to be drug free! For myself and my family! I need your help please don’t give up on me! 
All I can think about is the night I was sitting in that nasty ass jail cell! How miserable I was without you guys! 
I’m going to get sober and I’m going to stay that way! I promise you guys I will be better someday and this promise I will uphold forever! I love you both oh so much! This I promise you! 
It’s crazy how bad these damn drugs can fuck up our little family! I’m sorry I know this is on me! Please don’t hate me! I’m gonna get sober for our family! I’m gonna get sober! 
So will you stand next to me and help me? Cause I need you both oh so much! I can’t do this without you!  Can I please have one more shot at being yalls mommy! I promise I won’t fuck up this time! Please believe me I want to be sober!

Country, rock