Not my name

Verse 1]

I had a habit of running away

Anything heavy, I couldn’t stay

Nights got louder inside my head

So I filled the silence instead

Didn’t feel strong, didn’t feel clean

Felt like a ghost in between

Every high just buried the low

But it always found me below

⸻

I said “I’m fine” like it’s the truth

But I was lying through my youth

Every time I hit that ground

I swore I wouldn’t stay down

⸻

This isn’t my name, this isn’t my fate

I’m more than the things that I used to escape

Yeah I fell deep, yeah I lost control

But that’s not the sum of my soul

I’m breaking the chain, I’m cutting it loose

I’m more than a moment I tried to refuse

Yeah it’s hard, yeah it hurts, yeah it’s slow

But I’m stronger than I let it know

⸻

Some days I miss how it numbed the pain

How it quieted every thought in my brain

But I remember the aftertaste

Empty nights I couldn’t face

People saw smiles, didn’t see cracks

Didn’t see me trying to get myself back

I’m still learning how to stand

Without something in my hands

⸻

I was drowning in disguise

Looking fine from the outside

Now I’m choosing breath by breath

Over living close to death

⸻

This isn’t my name, this isn’t my fate

I’m more than the things that I used to escape

Yeah I fell deep, yeah I lost control

But that’s not the sum of my soul

I’m breaking the chain, I’m cutting it loose

I’m more than a moment I tried to refuse

Yeah it’s hard, yeah it hurts, yeah it’s slow

But I’m stronger than I let it know

⸻

If I slip, I’ll stand again

That don’t mean I didn’t win

Every step away from that

Is a step to who I am

⸻

I’m not clean, I’m just trying

Still healing, still fighting

But I know one thing for sure—

I’m not lost anymore