Not my name

Verse 1]
I had a habit of running away
Anything heavy, I couldn’t stay
Nights got louder inside my head
So I filled the silence instead

Didn’t feel strong, didn’t feel clean
Felt like a ghost in between
Every high just buried the low
But it always found me below

⸻

[Pre-Chorus]
I said “I’m fine” like it’s the truth
But I was lying through my youth
Every time I hit that ground
I swore I wouldn’t stay down

⸻

[Chorus]
This isn’t my name, this isn’t my fate
I’m more than the things that I used to escape
Yeah I fell deep, yeah I lost control
But that’s not the sum of my soul

I’m breaking the chain, I’m cutting it loose
I’m more than a moment I tried to refuse
Yeah it’s hard, yeah it hurts, yeah it’s slow
But I’m stronger than I let it know

⸻

[Verse 2]
Some days I miss how it numbed the pain
How it quieted every thought in my brain
But I remember the aftertaste
Empty nights I couldn’t face

People saw smiles, didn’t see cracks
Didn’t see me trying to get myself back
I’m still learning how to stand
Without something in my hands

⸻

[Pre-Chorus]
I was drowning in disguise
Looking fine from the outside
Now I’m choosing breath by breath
Over living close to death

⸻

[Chorus]
This isn’t my name, this isn’t my fate
I’m more than the things that I used to escape
Yeah I fell deep, yeah I lost control
But that’s not the sum of my soul

I’m breaking the chain, I’m cutting it loose
I’m more than a moment I tried to refuse
Yeah it’s hard, yeah it hurts, yeah it’s slow
But I’m stronger than I let it know

⸻

[Bridge]
If I slip, I’ll stand again
That don’t mean I didn’t win
Every step away from that
Is a step to who I am

⸻

[Outro]
I’m not clean, I’m just trying
Still healing, still fighting
But I know one thing for sure—
I’m not lost anymore

More dark indie / alt-pop, like Billie Eilish mixed with Lana Del Rey—slow, emotional, a bit haunting., female, studio