[Verse 1]
Scott missed homeroom, mom missed the driveway
Minivan parked halfway on the lawn, sideways
She’s slow-blinking, TV volume on max
Eating dry cereal straight out the box, facts
“Mom, sign this permission slip”
She signs his leftover pizza, then licks the tip
He’s like, “I got school, I’m really tryna go”
She’s like, “Sweetie, it’s Saturday” (it’s Tuesday though)
She put her phone in the fridge, remote in her purse
Called the dog “Alexa,” it just made things worse
Scott’s in the kitchen, packing his lunch
Dodging her in slow-mo like a Matrix stunt
[Chorus]
That’s my mom, yeah, she on that couch
Whole world fast while she zoomed-out slouch
Scott tryna study, she tryna nap
Welcome to the Xanax Mama Drama Rap (hey!)
Homework, chaos, same old plot
Life hits hard when your mom’s that Scott’s mom got
He just shrugs, tryna laugh it off
Xanax Mama Drama, that’s his theme song cough (uh)
[Verse 2]
Parent-teacher night, yeah, that went great
She showed up in slippers, forty minutes late
Teacher said, “Scott’s bright, just needs more focus”
Mom stared at the class fish like it just spoke, hopeless
At the pharmacy, line backed up for miles
She whisper-yelled, “Why y’all starin’? Mind your files”
Dropped her keys, then her card, then her keys again
Scott just scooped ‘em like, “This my daily gym”
He learned to cook ‘cause dinner got weird
Frozen peas in the oven, ice cream in the pan seared
He flips pancakes, she flips channels, zoned
He’s raising himself in a split-level home
[Chorus]
That’s my mom, yeah, she on that couch
Whole world fast while she zoomed-out slouch
Scott tryna hoop, she tryna nap
Welcome to the Xanax Mama Drama Rap (woah)
Missed three calls from the doc she forgot
Life gets wild when your mom’s that Scott’s mom got
He just jokes, tryna shake it off
Xanax Mama Drama, that’s his sitcom cough
[Bridge]
He loves her though
Under all that slow
Keeps her water by the bed, trash bag by the chair
Sets alarms on her phone so she actually cares
Cracks his jokes, hides the hurt
Busts out rhymes just to make it less worse
If life’s off-beat and the timing’s odd
Scott still rhymes, “That’s my mom, my squad” (yeah)
[Chorus]
That’s my mom, yeah, she on that couch
Whole world fast while she zoomed-out slouch
Scott writing verses, turning all this crap
Into this Xanax Mama Drama Rap (hey!)
Laugh so he don’t cry on the spot
Life’s punch-drunk but it’s all that Scott’s got
He hits “record,” tryna spin it to art
Xanax Mama Drama with a big, soft heart