Crawfish Alley Ain’t Right

[Verse 1]
Welcome to Crawfish Alley
Thirty years deep in the mud
Tunica trailer-park palace
Duct tape, rust, and Bud
We got Christmas lights in August
Flies stuck to the neon sign
If you’re lookin’ for manners, honey
You’re on the wrong side of the line
[Chorus]
It’s Crawfish Alley, we ain’t right
Where the customer’s wrong and the crawfish is right
Tip your bartender? (maybe)
She’ll still roll her eyes
Jell-O shots fly like a barroom fight
Yeah, the tail gets praised and the folks get fried
Down in Crawfish Alley tonight
[Verse 2]
Tank tops, cut-off camo
Uncle Earl passed out by the pit
Kids play tag ‘round the beer cans
Grandma’s chain-smokin’ and talkin’ shit
Order “mild,” we serve you “melted”
Order “sweet,” we serve you “mean”
Complain about the service
We’ll put your face on the meme
[Chorus]
It’s Crawfish Alley, we ain’t right
Where the customer’s wrong and the crawfish is right
Tip your bartender? (maybe)
She’ll still roll her eyes
Jell-O shots fly like a barroom fight
Yeah, the tail gets praised and the folks get fried
Down in Crawfish Alley tonight
[Bridge]
Tackiest bunch you ever saw
Cussin’ like a choir in the sawdust floor
But every first peel, every first bite
You’ll be beggin’ that bucket for one more
[Chorus]
It’s Crawfish Alley, we ain’t right
Where the customer’s wrong and the crawfish is right
Tip your bartender? (maybe)
She’ll still roll her eyes
Jell-O shots fly like a barroom fight
Yeah, the tail gets praised and the folks get fried
Down in Crawfish Alley tonight (hey!)

country, Rowdy modern country bar-banger, male vocals. Swampy Telecaster twang and stomping kick, fiddle riffs trading licks with a greasy barroom piano. Verses keep it half-time and talky, then choruses explode with gang shouts and stacked harmonies on the hook. Big shout-along outro, crowd noise tucked in the mix, plenty of room for ad‑libbed whoops and hollers., redneck